New Year Jokes, Resolutions and Cartoons

13 New Year Resolutions For Internet Junky

1. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

2. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.

3. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"

4. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

5. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.

6. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.

7. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.

8. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.

9. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.

10. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.

11. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.

12. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...

13. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.P. J. O'Rourke

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

James Agate

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