Inspiration And Information

 On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed....... On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed...... On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind o...

George Bernard Shaw (26 July 1856 – 2 November 1950) was an Irish playwright.  he wrote more than 60 plays. Nearly all his writings deal sternly with prevailing social problems, but have a vein of comedy to make their stark themes more palatable. Shaw examined education, marriage, religion, government, health care and class privilege.   Shaw wrote five unsuccessful novels at the start of his career between 1879 and 1883. Eventually all were published. Shaw was pro-Islam , Socialist-Marxist  and defended Hitler mass murder finally was the Nobel Prize Recipient in 1925. Some of his most famous quotes. A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.           George Bernard Shaw   A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw  A lifetime of ...

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".  The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face a...

~~~~~~~~~~   A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like' ...

Every day has its challenges hope that these quotes will help you find the humor in those challenges and keep on facing them A joke is a very serious thing. Winston Churchill Clifton Paul Fadiman                                                                               A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. Hugh Sidey A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. William A. Ward    Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it...